Friend Profile #5: The Jenny and Misty Show

These two have been friends of mine for a long while, and since I know they are some of the Revolting Blog's biggest fans, it's only right that I give them their own profile. They have made the cut, even though the original plan was to profile all of my guy friends, with my wife and daughter thrown in the mix (Maddie will be up next). That's what bragging about the blog's greatness will get you. These young ladies have been friends of each other since they were little tikes running around CC Elementary. Then they grew up and became involuntary chaperones for me and my buddies in high school. They kept us in line almost all the time. There were a few instances where we may have gotten slightly out of control, but these girls deserve a lot of credit. The bad part is that we guys have grown up and gotten older and wiser, and now they don't have a chance.

Misty is married to Kris Maddox and they have 2 sons and 67 dogs and cats. They live in Bremen, which means they are under the rule of Scott Bunch, the King of Bremen. She works at Deason Signs, the family business. Her boys are Lane and Karson. Her dogs are Snoop, Scooby, Spot, The Bounty Hunter, and many others, too many to name. A few of her cats names are Ramel, Joe, Mark Coury, Billy G, Ricky Pinto (misspelled on purpose), and Lovell Kevin. Jenny lives in Central City with her legendary husband Scotty 2 Hottie. They have 2 children, Kennedy (not Mr.) and Kamden (aka Boner). By marrying Scott, Jenny became the Queen of Bremen by default. I'm wondering if this is why she married him. Nah, it was obviously the stunning good looks and endless charm. She works as a drug dealer for Clinic Pharmacy in Central City. She is best known for putting a hit out on Ron Poole (that's a joke). She is actually a Pharmacy Tech, and a damn good one. Please wish her luck when you see her. Trying to live with Scott and that little boner is bound to be tough.

Something I made up about Misty and Jenny: By using her connections in the sign business, Misty was able to get her and Jenny small parts in the remake of Tesla's famous "Signs" video. Also, by using her royal connections as Queen of Bremen, Jenny was able to secure Kendall a date with Elton John.

Separated At Birth??????

Wedding Reception

I only got a few shots (pictures) at the reception. I did get a few extra shots (liquor) from my Uncle Barry. Don't tell anybody, this was a dry reception. Of course I'm joking!!!!!!

More Wedding Photos

Grant Sharp Has Officially Joined The Family

Grant and Brittany have officially tied the knot. This is a great day for Stretch. Joining the Vinson family is an honor that not many get to enjoy. Brittany may have also hit the jackpot. I'll only say it once, but I think Grant is a great guy and I think my little sister is lucky too. More photos to follow.

Friend Profile #4: Ryan "Fatty" McNeely

This comes at a great time as just last weekend Fatty's girlfriend gave birth to his first child. It is a baby girl named Gabrielle Keightley McNeely. Yes Cat fans, Fat has named his child after Mr. Wildcat. That is no joke. There are no ties on either side to the name Keightley. When Mr. Wildcat passed away, Fatty was talking about it and Amanda said she loved the name so they went with it. I barely know Amanda, but I think Fat has found a good one. Gabby was born 2 months early, but both Mom and Baby are doing well. Now on to the other stuff.

I met Fatty my first semester at Madisonville Community College in the fall of 1994. I had actually played ball with him a few times and remembered his face and stunning physique, but never really talked to him. He started hanging out with us and before you knew it, he was an honorary Muhlenberg Countian. He got his name because he was amazingly skinny and Adam Sandler had a cd out at the time with a skit about a fat kid named Fatty McGhee. On the skit, Fatty McGhee would always lose his breath taking the stairs and could barely talk to his friends at school for trying to catch his breath. Well, another friend of mine, Chris Doss, and I would get out of class 15 minutes before Fatty and would wait for him in the commons area to go to lunch every day. When Fatty would start walking down the stairs to meet us, Doss would holler, "Oh no Fatty, please don't take the stairs". Fatty would take the stairs anyway, and would always act like he was out of breath. This made Doss very happy, and that was our main goal each day anyway. I wish I had a recording of one of these episodes, because it is not an exaggeration when I say that Doss would holler this out. I felt sorry for all the students down there trying to study. I assume they got accustomed to it after about the 18th time though. He would yell this literally every time Fatty took the stairs for a whole semester. The name Fatty stuck to him like the pages of Kendall's "best of Q" picture album and that is pretty much what everyone calls him now. You could find plenty of people around our age in Muhlenberg County who have no idea who Ryan McNeely is, but they know Fatty. He is known for his bald head and amazing ability to turn backflips off the head boards of Nashville hotel beds. He is also in the pool jumper hall of fame. Some of the stuff you read on this blog is probably very confusing, but there are a few readers who will get a good laugh out of it, and you can't please everybody all the time. Anyway, Fatty sells medical equipment and lives in Madisonville with Amanda and Gabby, even though she has not been home yet. I would like to wish them the best of luck. There's nothing like being a parent.

Something I made up about Fatty: He still don't know the one man who would dare give him the raspberry, and he has no idea who "Cowboy" and "Jellybean" are. These are inside jokes. They are placed here solely for the enjoyment of Tom Vinson. I guess you could say they are here to confuse the rest of the blog fans too.

Friend Profile #3: Joel Huff

This is another of my close friends that has been around for what seems like forever. Joel, who for the remainder of this post will be referred to as Ho, has been a friend of mine since my Longest Elementary days. We went on to MC (Muhlenberg Central) for 7th and 8th grades, where we had the pleasure of learning mathematics under a legendary teacher, Bob Gardner. Mr. Gardner is the first man I ever heard put a "L" into his words for no reason. Together, Ho and I were able to bring this new version of the english language to the rest of the world. In high school, Ho got his now famous nickname. He also mooned the pep band bus. He, like most of my friends, is still a big kid. He is a youth sports fanatic. He loves to coach the kids teams in whatever sport he is needed. He works at Logan Aluminum and lives in Central City. He has a wife, Julie, who I also consider a great friend. His kids are Nicholas, Gavin , and Alexandra. Gavin is Maddie's on again, off again boyfriend. We still hang out every chance we get, when our crazy schedules will allow it. It's probably safe to say that we will still be friends long after we're old and gray. Really, I think we will both be old and bald, but who cares. If you have a classic Ho Huff story, please tell it in the comment section.

Something I made up about Ho: He once had the saliva tested on a piece of gum just to prove to one of our high school teachers that he wasn't the one who chewed it. Actually, if he'd had access to the testing equipment needed, this story would have been true.

Friend Profile #2: Tom Vinson

Friend profile #2 is going to tell you a little about the friend I have had the longest. Tom Vinson has been a part of my life almost from the get go. I am 364 days older than him. He was born the day before my first birthday for those of you not able to do the math. We grew up together and have always remained close friends. Other than my wife and daughter, Tom is my best friend. He is a Muhlenberg North High School and Western Kentucky University graduate. He is also my cousin. You probably never would have guessed that. In our younger days we spent most of our time quoting movies and playing sports. When Tom decided to grow up, he went to school to become a broadcaster. He spent a little time with the Tennessee Titans. After he played a minor role in inspiring the "music city miracle", he decided to move on to his alma mater, the WKU Hilltoppers. He done basketball and football for the Tops as well as a call in show done after the games. The call in show was done with his colleague Hal Schmidt. They came up with the now infamous "Schmidt List". After a short stint as a road dogg, Tom now lives in Greenville with his wife, Marla. He runs the day to day operations of Vinson Auto Sales and finds the spare time to dominate the paint on Sundays at Bremen gym.

Something I made up about Tom: His home smells of rich mahogany. Merlin Olsen comes over from time to time.

Friend Profile #1: Jordan Vinson

This is the beginning of a new kind of post on the Revolting Blog. I am going to be doing various friend profiles throughout the next few weeks. I figured I might as well start out by profiling my very best friend first. Her name is Jordan Vinson.

Jordan is known mostly for her amazing taste in men. This taste only got great sometime last year. She came into my life just at the right time, when I wondered if love could really be found. She proved to me it could be found, and I hope I can make her feel as loved as she makes me feel every day. She is a former field commander of the mighty North Star band. She is a great wife, a wonderful step-mother to my daughter, and we are lucky that she came into our lives. I'm not sure where I would be today without her, but I am positive that I would not be nearly as happy as I am right now. I hope I am lucky enough to grow old with her, even though I realize that I will be old long before she is. She may be 8 years younger than me, but she's at least 10 years more mature than me. I thank the Lord every day that I've got her in my life.

Something I made up about Jordan: She will recieve the award for 2008 sexiest husband.


Friend profile #1 was brought to you on somewhat of a serious note. Don't expect that on the others.

Beatdown In Bremen, And Thank God For Bethel's Groin

Last Sunday the weekly Bremen game was not fun to watch. It resembled game 6 of the NBA finals, though we are a few levels below the NBA. Grant Sharp finally got his lifelong wish to be on Tom Vinson's team, and the two were pretty much an unstoppable force. They brought a little shake and bake to Bremen (for you Talladega Nights fans). As good as Tom and Grant were, I have to give the MVP award to "Pac-Man" Jones, aka Ryan Taylor. He set a Bremen rebounding record with 246. Camron Laycock (C-Red) and the legendary Scott Bunch rounded out the squad for the winners. Camron quietly scored 38 with 29 assists and 16 rebounds. This game was so out of reach that Bunch didn't need to pull any late game heroics. He just let the game come to him and hit open shot after open shot. Grant only missed once the entire night, and that was because I left him open. He drained countless jumpers in my face, and that's all I got to say about that. He'll be married next week. His game will slowly begin to go downhill. I'm only going to give 3 comments on my squad. Kendall ("The Git") and I probably would have had a hard time throwing the ball and hitting the bleachers last Sunday. We sure as hell couldn't hit a jumper. Blake Vincent played well, and I feel sorry for him for having to be on our team. The best thing that happened for us, however, was when Bethel pulled a groin and ended the game before we got down by 50. Hopefully this week the game will be a little more competitive. It makes me sick to think back on it and have to make this post, but C-Red demanded it, so here it is. One last thing: We may have taken a major butt kicking, but Bremen is still Bethel's house. I know, I heard him say it.