For Those Who May Not Know

I'm gonna be a dalddy......again!!!!!!

We went to the ER December 18 because we thought Jordan had a kidney stone. Turns out her uterus was growing a kidney bean. I like to call it Jamaal. Jordan DOES NOT like to call it Jamaal. I don't think the name is gonna stick. Even with my unusual pronunciation (J-Mall), she still ain't buying it. We were worried when the doctor told us she was pregnant because she was hurting so much, but the ultrasound showed that everything was going fine. We were very relieved and happy, although Jordan got a little upset when I asked if the fetal pole meant that it was gonna be a boy. She is really struggling with nausea and fatigue, so if you pray, remember my wife and little J-Mall. If you don't pray, start today. Jordan read on the internet somewhere that the fetus would form male or female parts sometime within the next week or so. Yesterday every time she burped she couldn't decide if it tasted like eggs or nuts. I guess we'll have to wait a while to find out what it's gonna be. I'll keep you posted.

Paparrazi Invades Revolting Blog Christmas Party

The annual Revolting Blog Christmas party was once again a blast as we celebrated 2008 with many of our friends. What is normally a pretty calm and private party, this year ended up getting a little bit out of control. To make it even worse, the paparrazi showed up and many pictures have leaked into tabloid hands. This is the price you pay when your blog becomes world famous, and it's a price I knew the Revolting Blog and its readers would have to pay when I hired the world famous Sizzler. Tom and I have been working around the clock in an effort to secure some of the most damaging photos that were on the market. After much thought, we have elected to share them with our faithful readers. Proceed at your own risk.

The night seemed to be getting off to a great start with our buddy, the "Revolting Bad Ass" Scotty Bethel, working the door. I don't know how the paparrazi got by him, but they did.

The bloggers were misinformed. Bunch had it in his head that this was the Revolting Halloween party and told us all to put on our wrestling outfits. We showed up as the 4 Horsemen. Several ladies passed out upon seeing Shane Hardison shirtless. Tom Vinson set himself on fire after forgetting that he wasn't Kane this year.







Dick Vitale showed up as this year's celebrity waiter. After last year's debacle when Slim thought it would be a good idea to have Bobby Knight wait tables, we thought Dicky V done a fabulous job. No injuries or hurt feelings were reported, unless you count Bunch shedding a few tears when we ran out of dorito/bologna sandwiches.

Grant Sharp entertained the party goers with a surprise performance of his routine which he hopes will land him a spot on the next Dancing With The Stars. He has the skills to win it but he is considered a long shot at best. He has the looks, the moves, and the needed sex appeal to bring home the title. He only lacks one very important thing. He's not a star. Good luck anyway Stretch.

The following pictures could be disturbing to the wives of Chris Faith and Michael Miller. These two guys, by accident I'm sure, got into some of what we call the Revolting Shine, and got a little bit out of control. They were hitting on every woman around. I even saw Miller grab Kendall Smith's butt at one point.

disclaimer to wives: none of this stuff actually happened. You're husband's heads have been superimposed onto other bodies for the sake of humor. Do not raise hell and cause a fight over these pictures. There never really was a party, and if there were a party, Faith and Miller are way past their primes and the women would want nothing to do with them. Now go back into the mode in your brain where you think all of this stuff actually DID happen.

Ever wonder why Faith's ego is so big?

Oh Spilla, Nikki will not be proud.

Bunch would not accept the fact that this wasn't a costume party and decided to dress up as his all time favorite character, the Pillsbury Bunch.

All party goers were surprised, and some nauseated, when "The Git" popped out of the cake. The drunken combo of Faith and Miller tried to coax him into getting a room at the Super 8. They figured out they wanted no part of this cake queen after cutting into him. Faith was overheard asking someone, "when did they start putting those little smokies into cakes"?

As the night came to a close and everybody thought we had once again pulled off a successful holiday party, that bastard Rick Pitino showed up and started punching kids. Kamden "Boner" Bunch will never be the same. Bethel was fired after letting Coach Pitino through the doors, and we pray that next years party will not end in the same horrific way.

M.I.A.

As a member of the "Fab Four" of the Blog Nation, not only should I contribute to the "gushy nougat goodness" of the Revolting Blog, but I should bring more readers and contributors in the fold. I will periodically put out an APB for following people that would be beneficial for the growth and enjoyment of the Blog. I put forth a challenge for readers of the Blog to find these people and introduce them to the greatness that is "The Revolting Blog"...

The first challenge for the Blog Nation is....

Be careful when apprehending this man. He has been known to carry a pair of scissors and "monkey pee". Known to drive a white 1993 Probe GT. Common hangout is the Dew Drop Inn. Reward is $10.00 and a free shave.

Confusion

I made a post a few days ago and forgot to push the "publish post" button I guess so it didn't get put on. I submitted it just now but it still went in the order it was made. I'm confused. Anyway the post is about 2 or 3 down from this one and you'll wanna check it out if you think Bunch in superhero costumes is appealing, or if you like classic Eddie Murphy movies. I don't have an explanation for the disturbing photo in this post so don't ask. Obviously it was taken back when Bunch used to work out a lot. I can't remember when that time was, but check out that body. Jenny is a lucky woman.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Merry Christmas from the Hardison family

I want to apologize for my lack of blogging. But after a hard day's work, my nights usually involve chasing the little guy around the house until it is time for bed. But recently, I have been slipping a little bourbon in his "sippie cup". So he is now going to bed a little earlier than usual. The only drawback to this is that about 30 minutes before he goes to bed...he wants to fight. Like father like son I guess.

I first want to say congrats to Tom for being the voice of Hilltopper basketball. I think we should start a poll to try and figure out his catch phrase. The first two I would like to vote on are......"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!" and "SHOOT IT!!!!!". I also want to keep a tally for anytime that Tom can mention key people during his telecast. Enough name drops and I will buy him lunch of his choice. The first two that I would like to hear is either Gary Carver or Brad Divine. If you can work a Scotty Bethel/Greg Franklin combo, you automatically get the lunch.

I plan on invading the county during the holidays. Somebody give me a ring if some b-ball is going to be played. Fair warning, I haven't played in forever. I will probably have to borrow some shoes to actually play in. And for inspiration, I would love to borrow a jersey to get me "pumped up". So Jeremy, if you can break the glass on that framed Chris Bumps Sudden Impact jersey, I would greatly appreciate it. And please throw it in the wash since I know you have kept it in "game condition".

Also, I have had a request from Neville Ellison "aka N--S--K", that we come over to his house to play some Risk. I heard through the grapevine that he would love for some of the old crew to come over to his house like old times. I am guessing that JR is not invited though. If Dustin is game, maybe we could recreate the infamous "Muddyfoot" scenerio. And who knows, maybe a classic spades game could break out.

Until next time...

Post Edited

After receiving loads of hate mail, I have elected to delete the picture of "Baby Maholli" peeing in his cereal. We here at the Revolting Blog never meant any harm and did not mean to offend anyone. We only intend to offend Kendall Smith on purpose. Anyone else who is ever offended by a blog post or picture I can assure you it was an accident. Actually sometimes we will intentionally throw a diss at Grant Sharp or Maholli, hence the piss filled cereal fiasco that inspired this post. I realize that many women across this great state of ours, and possibly even nation wide, have had many nightmares about seeing a naked "Baby Maholli". However, I don't think the blog has enough bandwidth to accommodate the millions (and millions) of Maholli's fans had I posted a picture of a naked "Adult Maholli". Also, the naked "Adult Maholli" pictures aren't nearly as entertaining because he quit peeing in his cereal about 4 years ago. Therefore, I went with the baby and in doing that I have set off a blog world firestorm. Better forecasts are on the horizon, the pic is gone. Good day!!!!!!


Does anyone else find it ironic that after years of drinking urine/milk cocktails that the only thing that can come out of Maholli's mouth is a load of crap? Weird stuff.

Just kidding Maholli. You know we love you, we just hate hearing about the filthy Cards. You're a lot more fun to talk to when the Cats are the better team. Go Cats!!!!!!

Some Cool Things To Look At

Look closeley at the following 4 photos.

Can anyone tell me which picture is actually Shane Hardison?

Here's a question I want answered. Why is naked "Baby Maholli" offensive, but naked "Baby Bunch" is cute? I have actually had a request for a naked "Baby Bunch" t-shirt. Ridiculous.

Name the movie this quote is from and win absolutely nothing. Tom and I will think you are cool though. Does that count as a prize? We watched this movie about 6000 times as youngsters.

I've always thought of Bunch as a superhero. Now the rest of you can too. Here's a pic to help you out.

Ice Ice Baby

Apparently we have some bad weather on the way. Freezing rain, sleet, snow, all that good stuff. The weather reports made me think of 2 men. Pics of these men are all over the web, but I chose a few to put into this post. Enjoy!!!!!!

Vanilla Deh

All American Ice

Award Winning Ice

Drop that zero and get with the hero

I'm Back To The Blog

It's been a nice vacation from the blog. For over 2 weeks now I have worked all night and came home in the mornings and not worried about posting on this blog. I can read the news, work on my fantasy football and basketball teams, read about the Cats and why Billy G. should be fired and why Porter should be thrown out of the state. All the things I normally sacrifice in order to post on The Revolting Blog. I like doing those other things. That's why I hired help for the blog. So I took a vacation. If WKU had not beaten down the filthy Cards I don't think there would have been a single post during my time off. The one great thing that happened was the comments. When I am faithful about posting, nobody leaves a comment. When I quit for a while, everybody leaves a comment to bitch. Maholli still remains the only faithful commenter for the blog. You folks should at least occasionally put something in the comments section so that I (we) know that somebody outside of Louisville is reading this crap. It's depressing to feel like I'm writing to only Maholli. Anyway, I'm gonna try to do better. Deh Beh is still remodeling his house. I went over there the other night and I don't even think he has his computer hooked up right now so don't expect him to post much. Tom sells too many cars to post much and doesn't have internet access at home. Slim never promised that he would post a lot, so I guess we'll hear from him next time the Tops pull off a stunning victory. I would hire Maholli but I just can't be part of a blog that has pro-Cards posts. It would kill me to have to go to my own blog and read about how great the Cards are. So you will have to deal with me and the occasional random post from one of the other 3. If you really want Maholli, start a campaign in the comments section and we will consider it. It will of course have to go through Tom. He does the hiring around here now. Cats and Hoosiers today!!!!!! Also the final game for the Joel Huff All Stars, or as CC Jr. Pro calls them, the Lakers.